states of being

a big update: what’s rebecca been up to the last two months?

I took a break from the blog but, per usual, I’m returning to it now to give y’all the scoop.

May felt like a juggling act whereby I’d picked up the Ubergroup, job hunting, #SADIM, and #RockYourHandwriting while I was already juggling a novel critique, the 50 States Reading Challenge, a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, and a self-publishing career under a pen name. Because I was doing mainly weekly- and project-focused goals, I never allowed myself to stand back and look at the big picture. That was my failure as an optimist. Biting off more than I can chew is my biggest flaw, one that I used to be waaayy worse at but that I’m still working on. I think it’s important that everyone try to recognize their flaws and either accept them or work toward personal growth.

June was really the month I needed to sit back, set everything down, and only pick up what was the most important. I decided that I needed a break from some of my backlogged projects that I felt exhausted by. Instead of pretending like I could do it all, I decided what I specifically could not do. Most of the things on my May list did not make the cut. But also, as part of that weeding out process, I transferred moderator powers to another person for the “Bloggers, unite!” group I’d created a few years ago on Scribophile. While I still love my blog, it’s clearly not at the forefront of my writing goals anymore, so holding onto that group was only holding it and me back. That was a huge step for me toward having reasonable expectations for myself.

I decided to continue the Ubergroup for another cycle as co-captain of a short fiction team. I’d just finished my first cycle as member of a short fiction bootcamp team, and I finally felt like I was making real progress on my short fiction.

I also decided it really was time to get an IRL job. I’ve avoided it for a year and a half mainly over concerns for my mental health, but I feel much better than I used to on that front; I’m only having two or three “down” days a month now, which I’m so happy about.

So, in June, I focused on juggling those two things only – my mental energy was either “UBERGROUP” or “JOB”. The only pre-planned endeavor that snuck in there was my local writing support group’s first annual trip to my dad’s property, AKA the 1st Annual Paradise Bluff Writing Retreat. I got a lot of free writes done that weekend, and it was good for us all to be in nature. I’ve known these girls since October 2015, so it was only an opportunity for us to grow closer. I’ve heard of writing groups before who stay together for years, supporting each other throughout all of life’s curveballs. Well, when we were out of town, the Pulse tragedy struck our city, and I think we were all glad to have each other. Then, when we got home, we were all glad to see our families. Over the next few weeks, I started a new IRL job and my writing group gave me space to focus on my Ubergroup responsibilities, my new job, and my mental health. I really needed that time to stay hyper-focused on being well, and I succeeded; I was only “down” for about three days that week.

I’m meeting them tonight, and I plan to thank them for their role in bringing positive vibes to my life. I have a feeling I’ll blog about my IRL job eventually, but I don’t want to jinx it now when it’s been going so fantastic for the last few weeks. If you want some hints into it, check out my Instagram. 😉

Thanks for showing up to my update, blog readers. There’ll be more to come, I’m sure of it!

Posted in blog, confidence, dungeons and dragons, goals, imperfect, in transition, intertextual, job finding, madison, metaphorical dreams, money, moving, orlando, places, publication, rambling about, revising, scribophile, short story, states of being, states of motion, support group, thankful, the country, the news, understanding, with a family, work, writing |Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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