Rules of Nomination:
– Thank the giver and link their blog. Done.
– Answer the 10 questions given to you. See below.
– Pass the award onto seven other bloggers, also letting them know of their nomination. Give them 10 questions to answer. See below.
– Include the logo of the award in a post or on your blog. See sidebar. —>>>
MsCassiopeia’s questions for me along with my answers:
1. What do you want to achieve through your blogging?
I think my sidebar says it well:
“I blog to connect with the world and, through my connection with it, better understand myself.”
Writers reflect on life through their writing, and reflective writing is the most reparative writing, in my opinion. When you reflect on an experience through writing about it, it enables you to understand the experience better than if you had just tried to forget about it. Understanding a negative experience is a lesson learned that brings about closure and helps you to avoid the same brand of negativity in the future. Understanding a positive experience is also a lesson learned that shows you what your own brand of happiness is so you can hopefully replicate it in the future. Those two types of understanding brought about through reflection are reparative in nature because they encourage positive personal growth.
Everyone reflects on their life, all in different ways, and some more so than others. I’ve always been a very reflective person. I kept paper journals throughout most of childhood and adolescence. I kept an online journal throughout high school. I began blogging in college and continue to do so in adulthood. The emergence of the Internet brought about an age of socialization that I became addicted to in high school. With my online journal available for my friends to read, we formed closer bonds that are lasting to this day. With my blogs available for the entire world to read, I’ve connected with people from other cultures and walks of life. This has not only been good for me, it’s been good for others who have visited my blog and commented that I expressed an understanding they had not yet been able to vocalize.
Yes, there are bad people in the world who take advantage of this age of socialization, but I believe there are more good than bad and a lot of good has been done through online socialization, especially in blogging communities. If I had to choose one phrase to encapsulate what I hope to achieve through my blog, it would be that I hope to be one of many voices that bring goodness to the Internet.
2.) Since my blog is about relationships, what is a relationship?
Firstly, a relationship and a partnership are two totally different things, and I think the misunderstanding of that is a contributing factor in many unhappy bonds. I explored the concept of partnership in my “philosophy in facebook notes” post:
A relationship, however, is a special bond between two or more adults. What that bond entails is unique to the people involved and, thus, shouldn’t be judged by anyone who exists outside of that bond. Just because a relationship is sexual doesn’t automatically mean it’s also romantic, and vice versa. A relationship being platonic doesn’t automatically bar it from sexuality, either. An open relationship is just as special a bond as a sexually monogamous one. One polygamous relationship is not the same as another polygamous relationship, just as one homosexual relationship cannot stand to define all homosexual relationships. A heterosexual relationship is not automatically bound to societal expectations such as monogamy, marriage, and childbearing/parenthood. I think defining a relationship on individualistic terms such as those discounts all of the wonderfully unique relationships that fall outside of individual expectations. And judging any friend, family member, or stranger for not conforming to your own idea of a relationship is just that…judgmental. So, to reiterate, a relationship is a special bond between two or more adults. What that bond entails is unique to the people involved and, thus, shouldn’t be judged by anyone who exists outside of that bond.
3.) How do you like to feel about yourself? Among the four, choose one: (Analytical, Controller, Promoter, Supporter)
I think I used to be a Supporter, focusing on using my life as a pillar to keep others’ lives from crashing down. I have since stepped down from that role; I realized that I can’t control everything, especially others. I’ve also realized to promote one ideal is to close-mindedly assume there is nothing to gain from the endless ideals in this world that are outside of my own bubble of understanding. So, out of the choices given, I’d have to consider myself Analytical. I spend good time and energy analyzing what’s best for my life, my career, my personal fulfillment, my partnership, and more.
4.) What is your ultimate goal in life?
Ultimate: adjective. being or happening at the end of a process; final.
Goal: noun. the object of a person’s ambition or effort
I have so many goals that it’s difficult to pick the best or most important one. Going along with the definition of “ultimate” as an adjective, I will think of my “ultimate goal” then as my final goal, the object of my effort at the end of my life.
I picture myself content before death–content with the work I’ve done, the love I’ve given, and the legacy I have left.
5.) Who is the most influential person or writer in your life?
I’m going to have to go with the person who is most present in my everyday life, and that’s my partner Topher. He is encouraging, supportive, and–as Dumbledore once said–“unfailingly kind, a trait people never fail to undervalue”. And that only scratches the surface of what a wonderful person he is.
Disclaimer: My choosing him doesn’t discount how influential so many others have also been in my life. A big thanks to everyone else who’s got a place in my heart and soul.
6.) Who is your favorite character in the Harry Potter books and why?
One of the things I love about the Harry Potter books is the fullness with which JKR wrote all of her characters. What’s unfortunate is how difficult that then makes this question to answer. Perhaps an easier way to answer this question is if I rephrased it to, “If JKR were to write HP over again with a different protagonist, who would you want that protagonist to be?” So in a way I’m then analyzing which character’s perspective and vision was intriguing enough to give another go for seven whole books. Some may say Tom Marvolo Riddle, but I would have to pick Neville Longbottom over him because Neville is another hero in the tale, and I’d rather listen to a hero than a villain for seven whole books. I think the combination of backstory, subtext, and parallel heroic journeys make Neville’s character the most deserving of further exploration. Neville spends his childhood affected by the trauma inflicted on his parents, just like Harry. He spends his years at Hogwarts having to prove himself and consistently making mistakes in judgment, just like Harry. He tells Harry they will both make their parents proud, showing the same kind of strength and conviction as Harry. In the final book, he becomes a true hero at Hogwarts, having to bring the students together and stand up to dark forces without Harry’s help. We as readers miss that entire year of events due to Harry’s limited first person perspective. But we come to find out later just as Harry did that Neville was instrumental in the war against evil. He even destroys one of the horcruxes, because he’s just as badass and important as Harry. If you can’t tell yet, I love me some Neville Longbottom.
7.) What is your favorite book and why?
Because choosing just one book is like choosing just one influential person, I’m going with the Harry Potter series; it’s my obligation as a Millennial. I’ve blogged before about how impactful the series was to me in adolescence. My favorite HP book is Goblet of Fire, which also happens to be my least favorite movie. See my Favorites shelf on Goodreads for other-than-HP books.
8.) If you could turn back time, what would you do to improve one situation in the past?
I wouldn’t change the past because I’d be terrified to enter back into a completely different present. However, I would take the opportunity to return to the past as an invisible spectator, to relive moments that are dear memories of mine.
9.) If you are going to reject someone because you’re taken, how are you going to do it? Elaborate.
I’m the kind of person who will talk to anyone who approaches me, as long as they do so in respectful manner and in an acceptable setting for such an approach. I’m a very accepting person, and I make new friends easily. However, most people are not interested in being just friends, and there comes a point in most conversations with strangers where I suddenly get that they are expecting more from me. This revelation usually comes with some unwanted physical contact or an encroachment of my personal space. At that point I tell them, “I have a boyfriend.” I say this because it’s true. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would say something along the lines of, “I’m not interested in you that way.” or, if I was interested in them but they were being too physically pushy, I would say, “I like talking to you but I’m not comfortable with *enter unwanted action here*.” If the person backs off respectfully, I would usually add something along the lines of, “We were having a good conversation, and I like making friends, if you’d like to continue talking.”
I think the more interesting question then becomes, how does a person handle being rejected? Most women avoid openly socializing in the way I do because they’ve experienced negative reactions to rejecting physical, sexual, or romantic advances. This creates an unequal playing field where women rarely approach men and men always approach women. In my opinion, feminism is about putting men and women on an equal footing, so that interactions between the two sexes are not so convoluted and volatile. In a society with equal treatment of women and men, women would not be scared to be honest with a man (“I’m not interested in you that way.”), and a man would respect that response and still wish to continue the conversation and advance the relationship on a platonic level, if he’s the kind of person who likes making friends. Vice versa, as well. Women should be able to approach men looking for friendship or otherwise, and men should be able to respectfully reject women if not interested in them, and women should be able to respectfully handle said rejection.
These are grade school lessons, really – treat another the way you’d like to be treated. If someone were going to reject your advance, how would you like them to do it? Respectfully.
10.) If you’re going to identify if a person is nice, kind, accepting, and considerate, how are you going to do it or what is your basis in knowing they’re nice, kind, accepting, and considerate?
I don’t go by first impressions alone. I’m the kind of person who gives many chances before deciding a person isn’t worth my time. I make it a point to hang out with someone new many, many times to get a real grip on their personality traits. I won’t rule out a trait unless I see an opposing trait from them more than once. So, I won’t say they’re not nice/kind unless I see them acting mean multiple times. And, I won’t say they’re not an accepting person unless I see more than one instance of judgmental behavior. Lastly, I won’t find them inconsiderate unless they’ve acted in a selfish way on a few occasions. I firmly believe everyone has bad days and lapses in positivity, so I don’t write people off easily. If I write you off, well, I’m not sorry; you deserved it.
1.) Kelsye Nelson
She’s a fellow writer I follow on Twitter and I just love her blog’s Six Word Story Challenges.
2.) Jami Gold
Her website is a huge resource to any writer wanting to perfect the craft. I especially love her editing worksheets.
3.) Lang Leav
Lang Leav is infamous on Pinterest. I have to stop myself from re-pinning all of her poems.
4.) Tamara Woods of PenPaperPad
I discovered Tamara in one her #writestuff Twitter panels. She keeps a rad blog too.
5.) Courtney Carver of Be More With Less
I’m still working toward a minimalist mindset, and I’ve got a long way to go before I feel I can call myself a minimalist. Courtney is such an inspiration to me.
6.) Mama Hari of the Tiny House Family blog
Speaking of minimalism, here’s a beautiful family who’s living it. I follow a lot of tiny house blogs, but this one’s my favorite.
7.) Aerial of Offbeat Bride & Offbeat Tribe
If you’re a woman who finds traditional weddings and marriage roles uninspiring, this is the site for you.
My questions for y’all:
1.) Have you been given any strange nicknames? If so, spill it!
2.) When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
3.) What was the first online social site you remember joining, and why did you take the plunge?
4.) Out of all the social sites you’ve joined, which one is your favorite and why?
5.) What do you hope to accomplish with your own website?
6.) What advice would you give to anyone wanting to start their own website?
7.) If you had one minute to speak to the entire world, what would you say?
8.) What is your main goal for this year?
9.) What is your purpose?
10.) To end on a silly note: KNOCK KNOCK, WHO’S THERE?
Well, I’m off to continue packing. This process is neverending!